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Mindset for IELTS - Level 3 (Unit 02: Health)

Writing - Coherence and Cohesion - (07-11)

The examiner will pay attention to how well you can produce an essay that is coherent (easy to follow and to understand) and cohesive (the essay flows naturally and logically from one idea to the next). It is therefore important that your main and supporting ideas are connected to form paragraphs that are easy to read and convey your ideas or arguments clearly.

07. For this Task 2 'advantages and disadvantages' question, discuss with a partner in which order you could put the notes so that they form a logical paragraph.

In terms of personal health and fitness, what are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a busy city?

e.g. 250 gyms in my capital city
In cities - many gyms
Traditional idea - rural life is healthier; not true
Gyms part of larger chains, people can use any in city

Suggested Answer

There are two obvious ways to order these notes:
1. In cities - many gyms
2. 250 gyms in my capital city
3. Gyms part of larger chains, people can use any in city
4. Traditional idea - rural life is healthier; not true
OR
1. Traditional idea - rural life is healthier; not true
2. In cities - many gyms
3. 250 gyms in my capital city
4. Gyms part of larger chains, people can use any in city

Discourse markers are words and phrases used to communicate certain language functions. For example, On the other hand is a discourse marker to introduce a contrasting point or idea. Using a variety of them in writing is particularly important for constructing solid arguments and paragraphs, and improves your Coherence and Cohesion score.

08. The discourse markers in this paragraph are missing. Think about the function of the supporting ideas and then choose the discourse markers from the box that would fit in each gap. There are three possibilities for each gap.

What is more
Consequently
For example

By way of example
Because of this
In addition to this

For instance
As a result
Moreover

One positive aspect of city life is that there are generally a large number of fitness complexes available for members of the public to join, and most cater for the requirements of all their customers, whether those be for running machines, for weight training and so on. (1) , in my city alone there are somewhere in the region of 200 individual facilities, allowing residents the opportunity to stay healthy wherever they live or work. (2) , these gyms are often part of larger chains, and it is convenient for their members to be able to visit a range of locations if they wish to do so. (3) , although living in rural areas is traditionally assumed to be better for one's health, the sheer quantity of available facilities in modern cities means that this stereotype is changing.

You can also lose marks for misusing or overusing discourse markers. Not every sentence needs one. Consider whether the meaning of your sentence/ paragraph is affected without them. If your meaning is clear, perhaps it is not necessary to use one.

09. Read a candidate's paragraph and answer the questions.

One of the advantages of living in a city is that there are many gym facilities. For example, in my capital city there are more than 250 gyms. What this means is that there is a lot of choice available to the public. Furthermore, these gyms are often part of larger chains because people can visit any gym, in any location, in any city, meaning that there are options for everybody regardless of their lifestyle. Despite this, people usually believe that rural life is better for your health. This is because the traditional belief is that living in the countryside means that you do more exercise. However, the increasing number of gym memberships in cities does mean that this attitude is slowly changing.

1. Does the paragraph have a clear topic sentence? If so, what is it?

2. Do the ideas follow logically from one another?

3. What function (example, cause and effect, addition or contrast) does each have of the underlined discourse markers have?

Example:
Cause and effect:
Addition:
Contrast:

4. Which discourse marker is incorrectly used? Can you suggest an alternative?

incorrect alternative

If we start a new sentence after 'chains', we could also use Therefore, Thus,As a result to begin the next sentence.

5. Which discourse marker(s) could be omitted without impeding the logical flow of ideas?

Your introductory paragraph for this kind of essay should:

clearly state the situation/context and question that you will discuss in the body of the essay in a way that sounds engaging to the reader
not simply repeat the words in the question, but paraphrase the ideas into your own words
give your position clearly at the beginning of the essay because this is a key part of the question.

10. Look at the essay question and the three introductions below. What are the strengths and weaknesses of each one?

Many countries offer a free health care system to their citizens rather than relying on private health care.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a free system, and give your opinion.
A In many countries, basic health care provision for the population is funded and maintained by the state, yet for many others only private care is available. This raises the question of why some countries choose one system over the other. What are the pros and cons of offering free healthcare?

B Basic health care is a basic human right, but having a free system has both upsides and downsides. In this essay I will discuss them, including the ideas of how such a system is essential for poorer elements of society and the problems of paying for and maintaining a system like this. Overall, I think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

C Some countries offer a free health care system and others rely on private health care. What are the advantages and disadvantages of free health care and what is my opinion on it?

Suggested Answer

Introduction A: This is a good introduction. It paraphrases the question well and leaves the reader in no doubt about what the essay is going to discuss, without revealing the ideas it will cover. However, it does not state the candidate's position and it is a good idea to do so, because candidates can run out of time before writing their conclusion and therefore not manage to state their position.

Introduction B: This is the best of the three introductions. It paraphrases the question well and uses the very useful introduction phrase In this essay I will discuss ... which clearly tells us what the essay will be about. It also states the candidate's position, as requested in the question.

Introduction C: It is clear what the candidate will talk about in their essay but basically it restates the question without paraphrase. It also doesn't clarify what the candidate's opinion is.

Your concluding paragraph should briefly summarise what you have said in the body of your essay and state your own position on the question.

11. Read these conclusions for the essay question in exercise 10 and, in pairs, discuss the questions below.

A In conclusion, there are many advantages and disadvantages to having a free health care system.

B Overall, the advantages of offering free health care outweigh the disadvantages. Whilst there clearly is a financial cost to governments and taxpayers, the fact that everybody has access to health care regardless of their financial situation easily justifies this cost.

C In summary, weighing up both sides of the argument, I would say that although providing free health care does have some downsides, particularly financial ones for the country in question, the fact that no one in that society has to worry about medical bills more than justifies having it.

1. Which conclusion(s) do you prefer? Give reasons.

2. Are there any discourse markers or other phrases in them that you could use in your own conclusions? Underline them.

Suggested Answer

1. Conclusions B and C are both good as they clearly state the writer's opinion without going into detail. They both paraphrase the original question clearly and briefly state the position of the writer. Conclusion A, on the other hand, simply restates the question and does not give the writer's position on the question in any way.

2. In conclusion; Overall; the advantages of ...outweigh the disadvantages; In summary; weighing up both sides of the argument, I would say ...

07. For this Task 2 'advantages and disadvantages' question, discuss with a partner in which order you could put the notes so that they form a logical paragraph.

08. The discourse markers in this paragraph are missing. Think about the function of the supporting ideas and then choose the discourse markers from the box that would fit in each gap. There are three possibilities for each gap.

09. Read a candidate's paragraph and answer the questions.

10. Look at the essay question and the three introductions below. What are the strengths and weaknesses of each one?

11. Read these conclusions for the essay question in exercise 10 and, in pairs, discuss the questions below.

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